I REALLY WANT TO...HATE HER

I was fishing on the Blackfoot river

When she stepped out of the trees

She had an inner-tube and a Hermes bag

Saw me, dropped them both, and screamed

I set down the pole, and I went to help her

I was just going to lend a hand

She gave me a look of pure disgust

Damn, I thought I was a handsome man

She said you  can  just  back  off  a  bit

I can handle this on my own

What are you doing lurking here

I want to spend some time alone

I said excuse me your Royal Majesty

But that would be my place right there

You’re trespassing on private property

And normally I wouldn't care

~~~*Chorus*~~~

Well…

She looked like a Goddess

Had a mouth like a Mother-in-law

Why is that her sweet little body is all I saw

Looking at her 

Standing there

Like she’s a perfect gift from nature

Oh man, I really want to…

I really want to…

Hate her

~~*~~

She stuck her pretty nose up in the air

While she reached into her fancy bag

Came out with a phone that I’m sure cost more

Than my dog, and my whole danged place

I really couldn't help it …I must admit

I laughed till I was leaking tears

She threw her phone at me when I told her girl

There is no reception here

~~~*Chorus*~~~

Well…

She looked like a Goddess

Had a mouth like a Mother-in-law

Why is that her sweet little body is all I saw

Looking at her 

Standing there

Like she’s a perfect gift from nature

Oh man, I really want to…

I really want to…

Hate her

~~*~~

I walked her back…to a Jag of black

It really wasn't very far

Then my ears caught fire from her sailor-mouth

She’d locked the keys in the car

I cursed my luck and headed for my truck

I just wanted to say goodbye

But frustration faded and the knight stepped up

When I heard that little beauty cry

I was a little leery as I returned

But she fell right into my arms

Sobbing can I please just come home with you

I know that you don’t mean me harm

So I took her hand, her pink and purple bag

And we headed back through the trees

That’s the story of 

How I met my Wife

God didn't waste no brains on me

~~~*Chorus*~~~

Well…

She looked like a Goddess

Had a mouth like a Mother-in-law

Why is that her sweet little body is all I saw

Looking at her standing there

Like she’s a perfect gift from nature

Oh man, I really want to…

I really want to…

Hate her

~~*~~

Teresa Lynn Johnson
Wrdspnr@aol.com
Copyright © 2012